Saturday, January 19, 2013

Mixed Emotions

When I arrived at my in-laws house to pick up my children after a long day at work, Wendy was beaming. She was so excited to show me her new trick: grandpa had taught her how to tie her own shoes! It slapped me in the face and made me re-think my life. All at once I felt proud, overwhelmingly gratitude and ...and (I guess the only way to describe it would be) sadness. I was so proud of her careful determination and drive to get it right. I felt overwhelming gratitude for a child who is developing at a healthy rate, for the chance that I get to watch her grow and discover the world around her, for in-laws who take such wonderful care of my children while I can't. But then... I felt a sting. The sting of sadness that she is growing up too fast. And selfishly sad that it wasn't me who taught her. 

I guess as far ahead as she is, I'm just as far behind. I wouldn't have even tried to teach her for another year or so... maybe when I noticed all my friends teaching their kids her age or a note came home from school suggesting it was time. It makes me feel like a lazy, disconnected parent. So I'm not going to underestimate her anymore. Maybe tomorrow I'll teach her how to drive stick.

1 comment:

Melany said...

I totally know how you feel! I've always had to help Penny take her big winter coat off because it's big and heavy and has all these buttons and zippers, and the other day she was like "No mama! I can do it myself!" and totally took if off by herself. She said some girl at school had taught her and I felt like such a chump that I hadn't taught her first. It is kinda sad, but I guess there's a million other things I can teach her.

I'm impressed though, Good job Wendy!