Oh H no.

   *birds in order from left to right: bluish, whitish, peep, silly guy
awesome names courtesy of Wendy

Ryan: Uh... babe? I only see 3 birds in the cage. I think Whitish is missing.
Me: No, my eyes play tricks on me sometimes too, because Whitish gets lost against the white cage and white wall behind it. Maybe you should check again.
Ryan: ...No, there are definitely only three birds in here.

That is when I drop whatever it is I'm doing/holding, pick up my 30 lb baby and quickly exit the patio/playroom. I announce to Ryan that I refuse to go out there until the bird is found, and since that is where my treadmill is located, he is going to have a fat, grumpy, tired, unhealthy wife if he doesn't find it soon. (at this time, the room is a DISASTER. I'm talking can't-see-the-floor-under-all-the-toys disaster. Millions of little, tiny toys. Like squinkies and legos tiny. So it was actually pretty easy to loose a living, flying animal in there).

A couple days later my father-in-law found him in the doll house with all the barbies. I can just imagine that little bird checking out those hoochie dolls from across the room and planning his escape to get to them. My awesome father-in-law chased Whitish all over the patio (incredibly, without tripping and breaking his neck) and put him back for me. So, no harm no foul, but now I can't go out there without obsessively, compulsively counting the four birds a couple times. Dang pets. They're just glorified food storage. (don't tell Ryan I said that)

And so it starts again...

Anyone wanna buy a beautiful pair of cockatiels? Ryan has his eye on yet another new bird. I thought we were done with this. But he's used my own "bird conditions" against me. (1. They're not in the house, 2. We only have ONE bird cage - a cool vintage looking one of my choice, and 3. I never ever EVER have to deal with them). Nowhere, he reminded me, did I mention which type of bird has to be in the cage. So now that I actually kinda, sorta don't mind the birds we have, he's gone and found another one he likes better. Apparently, this new bird is "so chill" it would hang out in your pocket all day at work, if you wanted it to. I highly doubt the Target Corporation would be down with that.

SO... does anyone want to buy some birds? Seriously. They come with a cage and a perch. They are beautiful. You will love them.