Mixed Emotions

When I arrived at my in-laws house to pick up my children after a long day at work, Wendy was beaming. She was so excited to show me her new trick: grandpa had taught her how to tie her own shoes! It slapped me in the face and made me re-think my life. All at once I felt proud, overwhelmingly gratitude and ...and (I guess the only way to describe it would be) sadness. I was so proud of her careful determination and drive to get it right. I felt overwhelming gratitude for a child who is developing at a healthy rate, for the chance that I get to watch her grow and discover the world around her, for in-laws who take such wonderful care of my children while I can't. But then... I felt a sting. The sting of sadness that she is growing up too fast. And selfishly sad that it wasn't me who taught her. 

I guess as far ahead as she is, I'm just as far behind. I wouldn't have even tried to teach her for another year or so... maybe when I noticed all my friends teaching their kids her age or a note came home from school suggesting it was time. It makes me feel like a lazy, disconnected parent. So I'm not going to underestimate her anymore. Maybe tomorrow I'll teach her how to drive stick.

Back to school...

Next time school starts back up, my first born baby will be in KINDERGARTEN! The thought is depressing and exciting to me all at once. 

*Harvey was not too excited for his big sister to leave him, so she comforted him... and then she "helped him" put his smile on for the picture below. I can't get over how funny he looks!

What did I do before these two came into my life?

Harvey Jay turns 18 Months old!

*I adore these images by Amelia Lyon. Harvey is 18 months &2 weeks old in them. 

Harvey Jay at 18 Months:

• 30 lbs (92nd percentile)
• 34 1/2 inches tall (92nd percentile)
• this kid is so big that when he's sitting next to his sister in my side-by-side double stroller, strangers ALWAYS ask me if they're twins. (Wendy gets a little perturbed, because she's "SO much bigger than him!")
• current vocabulary: "mom, momma, mommy", "aaaaeeee" = daddy, "uh-ohhhhhh," "eh-eee" = wendy, "baawlll" = ball, "oh" = no, "aaa" = yeah, "hi," "bye," does the sounds of all farm and zoo animals, but his FAVORITE word is "ighth" or "eye-th." We don't know what it means but he says it all the time. He even says it after someone sneezes like he's saying, "Bless you."
• Favorite Show: Fresh Beat Band & Yo Gabba Gabba
• this kids wasn't quite walking when he hit the 18 month mark. (he's got a lot of weight to move around). So... I decided I had to work with him. Like, teach him how to walk. I always thought it would just come naturally. It only took a week and now he has the cutest little waddle. His knees are turned out and lifted a little too high (almost like he's marching). Soon he'll be running and I might regret the extra push I gave him to walk.

• he is INFATUATED with books. he loves to grab a book off of Wendy's book shelf, crawl into my lap, and cuddle up to me while I read it to him. His face lights up and he "oohs" and "aahs" and points to the different pictures as I mention them. He would let me sit and read books to him all day. I've even caught him in Wendy's room, sitting up on her bed, just looking through a stack of books.
• one of my favorite moments with him every day is when I get to put him down for his nap/bedtime. He cuddles up to me in our comfy green rocking chair in his nursery, I cradle him like a newborn baby and cover him with his favorite, velvet-soft, pale blue blankie. I read him a book or two and then sing him the 1st verse of "You Are My Sunshine," and hum the 2nd verse before laying him down in his crib and quietly shutting the door behind me. He has recently started singing with me. It just makes me melt. He mumbles the melody and mimics the sounds with his pacifier hanging out the side of his mouth. He scrunches up his eyes and nose when we sing the word "happeeeee." It chokes me up, I love it so much.

Happy New Year 2013!

2013 Williams Family New Years Resolutions:

Me- my goal is to go to bed earlier so I can wake up earlier, you know, the ol' "early to bed, early to rise." 9:30pm will be the goal because that's what I consider early (10pm or later is just going to bed at a normal time. Maybe that way I can be more productive before my kids wake up (exercise, shower, read my scriptures, ect.) Just start the day off right & be 1 step ahead instead of 2 steps behind. Plus, I've been promised HERE that if I do this, I won't feel so tired throughout the day and that my mind and body will be "invigorated." That is EXACTLY what I need.
Ryan- to exercise more. (And I'm so proud of him because he's already doing it. He got a gym pass & wakes up early a couple times a week to go do strength training or play racquet ball with our good friend, and talented photographer, Jason Stringfellow.) I'm so in love with him every morning as he walks out the door in his gym clothes to exercise, then work a full day, and spend the evening at school. What a man!
Wendy- grow her hair out for kindergarten (much to my dismay). I don't want to part with that adorable a-line bob of hers, but she wants long hair SO bad. She'll hold Ryan's ties to the top of her head & walk around like she has long hair. I see her gaze longingly at the hair of the other little girls in her classroom. How can I deny her?
Harvey- learn to speak the English language fluently.

*we celebrated the new year at 9pm with New York, watched the ball drop on t.v., and went home to put the kids to bed. After a looooong, busy (wonderful) week of Christmas, Ryan & I spent a quiet evening in and rang in the new year with just the two of us. It was perfect.